Approach, Just Do It

Posted on 10/15/2009

No matter how you get someone's attention, sooner or latter you have to talk to the person. Smiling, eye contact and body language are great, but they are just a spring board to conversation. The only way you are going to get comfortable meeting new people is to get up from your chair, walk across the room and introduce yourself.

It takes courage to initiate conversation. Almost everyone is afraid of being rejected. To help you deal with the fear of rejection, i want you to stop thinking about yourself! Shifts your focus to the person and concentrate on learning as much as you can about him ore her. Of course, you will want to comment on those things you find particularly interesting or that mesh with your interests and opinions, but being a good listener is the best way to make a connection.

Have a few standard phrase or questions you feel comfortable using as conversations starters. If you are at a party, ask the person you want to meet how he or she is acquainted with the host or hosts. If you are in supermarket, ask for advice or an opinion about something the person has in his or her shopping cart. A simple approach is always the best you don't have to act like genius or demonstrate your knowledge about current events to impress someone. Showing off the bra dding are not attractive qualities. The most attractive people i know are those who are genuine, sincere, and friendly.

Practice meeting new people by talking to everyone. Don't wait to try out an opening phrase or a new approach when you see someone you are attracted to. Practice being friendly wherever you go, at the bus stop, at the library, in line at the movies or the market, in the elevator, at the dentist's office. Will enough practice, meeting new people will soon become something you anticipate with pleasure, rather than with a pounding heart and sweaty palms.

In the meantime, if you someone you want to meet and you are still afraid, feel the fear and say something anyway. Everyone is afraid of being rejected, but you don't have to let your fear rule your life. When you understand that fear and excitement are experienced in the body in the same way, you can use your fear to your advantage. Think about it. When you feel fear, you get butterfly in your stomach, your palms sweat, and your knees knock. Now, how do you feel when you are excited? Exactly the same way.

The difference is in your interpretation. So, the next time you see someone you want meet, feel your butterflies, feel your sweaty palms, feel your knocking knees. But instead of telling yourself you are afraid tell yourself you are excited. Remember, your subconscious will believe whatever you tell it.

Another method of dealing with fear is to ask yourself, "What is the worst that can happen?" Draw a worst case scenario and use it as the puch you need to go ahead with whatever it is frightens you. Then, feel the fear and do it anyway.

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