Cheating

Posted on 11/24/2009

There are as many reasons why people cheat as there are unhappy relationships. Cheating is always a symptom of something more serious. Open couples are the least likely to cheat while closed couples invite cheating .

Partners often resort to cheating when they with to avoid confronting a problem but still need some way they wish to avoid confronting a problem but still need some way to lower tension.

Cheating is also a vary partners seek to bolster their self esteem when they do not feel loved or to bring to a head a hidden conflict that cannot be openly discussed. Cheating is sometimes used to force a partner to take an issue or a feeling seriously. When partners cheat, they reach beyond their relationship for solutions they could have found if only they had risked being open and shared.

Frequently, the reason a person cheats is more complicated than it looks. For example, a person may be motivated to cheat because he is hungry, but comes to discover that he realy cheated to resolve his doubt over being sexually attractive.

The nature of cheating is that it simplifies matters and complicates that at the same time. You ask yourself: " Would I feel more fulfilled with another person ?" So you cheat to find the answer and discover that someone else can satisfy you more completely. Another question immediately comes to mind: " Am I in love with this person to feel this way?" Now you are even more confused. Remorse and excitement occupy the same stage.

When you are apart, all you think about is being together. After you have been together, you are anxious to leave. You feel like a kid game. The lyrics of popular songs are suddenly full of meaning. You feel wonderful about it. Reborn! You feel like the worst heel in the world, positively rotten. How can something so wonderful feel so bad?

What is cheating?

Cheating is investing in another person the emotional and sexual energy that should properly be focused on your partner. You do not need to have intercourse to cheat. A passionate kiss with abandon and desire is cheating even if it goes no further. If that is difficult for you to accept, you have created a definition of cheating that is designed to allow you to cheat without feeling guilty.

Ask yourself why you don't go all the way. It is not because you don't have the desire, but because you are afraid. Cheating is a matter of desire and intent. Cheating begins once the idea has been placed into action, no matter how simple it is. Someone who intends to cheat often begins with a simple kiss and permits things to become more involved.

It is not the point at which you stop that determines whether you have cheated. Kissing a partner's close friend on the lips at a Christmas party when you both have had one too many maybe cheating for one of you and not for the other. It is the intention, the waiting to see what will happen, and the willingness to follow through that makes all the difference.

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