Do Opposites Attract

Posted on 01/28/2010

The idea of opposites attracting gets alot of verbal play in conversations about dating. And there is some truth in it. It can be nice to find someone with a quality we lack ourselves.

The idea of opposites attracting gets alot of verbal play in conversations about dating.

And there is some truth in it . It can be nice to find someone with a quality we lack ourselves.

If you’re shy, maybe an extroverted guy can coax you out of your shell. Or maybe a laid back guy can add a little calm to an overly ordered existence.

But, and this is a big but, most of the time we are seeking some one similar to ourselves. In fact, the drive toward commonality is so powerful that we may not even consciously realize the strength of the
pull.

Maybe it’s because we’re comfortable with what’s familiar. Or maybe we feel that the best chance of being understood is with a man like ourselves. Whatever the reason, it’s important to be aware of our own attraction to a mirror of ourselves!

One study in particular found that women preferred partners who were similar with regard to traits such as boldness, activeness, warmth, kindness, responsibility, intelligence, perceptiveness, and creativity.

If the women were low in these traits, they wanted someone low too. If they were high in the traits, they wanted some one high.

Now is a good time to examine some of your own traits, characteristics, and beliefs. Then think of past/present boyfriends how they differed from you or were similar regarding the following:

1. socioeconomic status
2. politics
3. religion
4. cultural/racial/ethnic background
5. education
6. IQ
7. looks
8. hobbies/interests

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