Say What You Mean, And Mean What You Say

Posted on 09/25/2009

Men and women often have a problem communicating in a relationship. For her, the problem is that he doesn't communicate at all, especially with regard to anything pertaining to the relationship.

She will say, "Honey, do you love me." And he, staring squarely at the television, will offer a grunt designed to allay her fears. Curiously, he offers the same grunt when she wakes him in the middle of the night and tells him that the house is burning down.

Men are amazingly versatile and can use a single monosyllabic response to convey a whole range of meanings. For his part, he complains that no matter what he says, she really means something else. Here is a chart i found to translate a woman's words:

She says: Do what you want. I'm not upset.
She means: You will pay for this later, Of course I'm upset you moron.

You are certainly attentive tonight.
Is sex all you ever think about?

I heard a noise.
I noticed you were almost asleep.

Do you love me?
I'm about to ask for something expensive.

I'll be ready in a minute.
By the time you have read War and Peace.

Yes
No

No
No

Maybe
No

I'm sorry.
You will be sorry.

Do you like this recipe?
It is easy to fix, so you would better get used to it.

I don't want to talk about it.
I'm still building up evidence against you.

While this chart is undoubtedly useful, it is impossible for me to provide words for evry scenario. So be aware of what you say and make sure it reflects your true feelings.

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