Secret Agents Of Love

Posted on 01/28/2010

So what other undercover agents are involved in the chemistry of love? Researchers are finding that a complex web of neurotransmitters and hormones have a big influence on our falling and staying in love. So what other undercover agents are involved in the chemistry of love? Researchers are finding that a complex web of neurotransmitters and hormones have a big influence on our falling and staying in love .

Phenylethylamine (PEA) and oxytocin are just two among an array of interacting agents that shape the way we love.

PHENYLETHYLAMINE

Phenylethylamine is the happy juice that our brains release when we have new love feelings for someone. It’s an endorphin that acts like speed, causing our heart rates and blood pressure to increase, as well as giving us that high on love sensation.

Fortunately, if you’ve been experiencing a shortage of new loves lately, there’s always chocolate. And what makes chocolate so special? Leave it to scientists to uncover part of chocolate’s mysterious allure. They’ve found that cocoa contains PEA.

The thing about the PEA high, with love and with chocolate, is that it’s relatively temporary. Really, if you think about it, who could sustain that euphoric type of love constantly? You and your lover would spontaneously cornbust. Many new couples, fogged in by the PEA cloud, have sex until they drop. Who could maintain that pace forever?

Besides, you wouldn’t want your common sense clouded by PEA forever. This love high may cause you to overlook a lot of big red flags waving in the wind. You might also overlook significant compatibility issues, such as value differences and divergent life goals. PEA may cause confusion between lasting love and simple lust.

Some might argue that ignorance is bliss and wish they could get lost permanently in the bloom of love. At first glance, this might seem like a fun option. There are men and women who get so caught in the fix that they seek out new love as if it were heroin. They’re addicted to losing themselves in passionate love. However, to get lost in love means to lose oneself, and that’s never a good option.

As with many things, moderation seems to be the best answer. Go ahead and enjoy your new, passionate love, just don’t get entirely blinded. Also ask yourself key questions to determine your pattern of loving as well as your partner’s.

Do you move from fresh catch to fresh catch?

Do you feel addicted to the newness of love?

Does he have a history of bolting after the PEA levels drop?

Do you tend to idealize the new men in your life?

Does he idealize new girlfriends?

OXYTOCIN

After about six months, or maybe a year, or two, or three, PEA stops working its insane magic. What happens then? Happily, oxytocin, the “cuddle hormone,” is there to cushion the fall. Oxytocin is responsible for enduring pair-bonding in animals. It helps foster attachments between romantic partners, as well as between parents and children and other loved ones.

You know that comfortable and content feeling when you’re touched, held, or hugged by someone you love. To a large degree, oxytocin deserves the credit. Researchers are also looking at the role of oxytocin in our attachment to a loved one’s features.

They theorize that when we gaze at a loved one or someone who looks similar to a loved one, oxytocin gets triggered, giving us a warm, fuzzy feeling. In this way, it helps us to bond with our loved ones, as well as to form prototypes of whom we find attractive. Oxytocin may be partially to blame when we’re attracted to the same types again and again.

As an added point of interest, this fabulous hormone helps get the smooth muscle contracting in the uterus, hopefully contributing to a great orgasm during sex! With oxytocin in tow, there’s really no need to mourn the loss of PEA with too much vigor.

Pheromones, PEA, and oxytocin are just a few of the covert concoctions our bodies produce to stimulate interest (or in some cases, lack of interest) in mating. Others include dopamine, estrogen, and testosterone. The point here is to develop an awareness of how strong a role the biology inside of us plays when we’re profiling.

Awareness can help you use that information to your advantage!

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