Speaking The Simple Truth
Posted on 10/20/2009
Being with another person without being able to communicate feels more lonely than being by yourself. There is nothing worse than being unable to speak the painful feelings brimming within you. You want to be heard and you want the other person to know what you feel. You just don't want to be alone in your pain .
Listening is a simple gift and knowing you will always be heard the greatest treasure of a relationship. Without being heard there is no real understanding, no basis for growing together, and no acceptance. If your partner doesn't know your feelings, he doesn't really know you, and you lose a part of yourself whenever you are in his presence.
To be heard, speak from the heart. Speak directly, simply, straightforward, and honestly. Say what you mean, speak your words as they are formed. Expres the truth that lives within you. Once you have spoken be silent ans listen carefully to your partner's response. Or, if there is silence, observe your partner his reply may not be in words. You do not always needs word to read each other's feeling.
If the other person reacts silently, share your impression of that silence in your own words. Observe your partner's pulling away, acting closed, or smiling. Don't analyze his actions. Speak only for yourself and share your response.
It is common, when expressing negative feelings, for obscure positive feelings to begin to surface as well. Express these feelings, is the reason you risk telling everything, the reason you and your partner are together in the first place. These positive feelings are proof that the other person matters to you. Letting the other person know that you still care or that you are suddenly feeling love or close again in the middle of a confrontation is a wonderful confirmation of the good in your relationship.
Nothing is a powerful a talisman as love appearing through anger. If you share everything, in time your negative feelings will subside and your positive feelings with show themselves everywhere. You will no longer feel trapped in your partner's presence. Most of all, you will feel your freest being together.
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