Turning Her On

Posted on 10/16/2009

The eight male illusion is the notion that the best way to approach a woman sexually is straightforward. What is the Problem ?

The fact is that while many men realize there are subtle cues or romantic gestures that attract women, the majority of men don't have any idea what those cues are. They don't know how to figure them out, and they can't get much help from other men, who are equally in the dark. The natural course of action would seem to be the straightforward approach.

And since most men are so focused on sex, so readily aroused, and so short term in their impulses, the straightforward approach seems to be the natural option. The result of the straightforward approach, however, is unsatisfactory. Far from exciting most women, it is turn off. This is true not only when a man and a women are first getting acquainted, but even when they have known each other well or have been married for years.

In a new relationship, a women may be insulted and angry. Men may accept anger from a new partner, but they have difficulty understanding it in a wife or girlfriend of long standing. They often fail to understand she is not turned on the way he wishes she would be and the way he would be if their positions were reversed.

This is often the result of a misguided notion that a man must court a woman initially, but once she has benn won, it is unnecessary ever to court her again. Many men know they should be seductive during courtship, but they feel that once the relationship has been established, the need for seduction is past.

The concept of winning a woman is taught over and over in the media and in folks tales. Winning thus has less to do with interacting in a personal or intimate manner that with the man's demonstrating his success and dominance. In many fairy tales, the man wins the princess by slaying the dragon or fighting his way through a thorn hedge.

Aladin, for instance, must perform a series of dangerous tasks. Even the new stories are little different. In the most common recent of cartons for children, the hero does not woo the woman directly, but somehow subdues the Outer World through strength or cunning, making her world safe and prosperous.

Most women value a man's success in the Outer World and may be drawn to him as a result of it. But when it comes to fully arousing her natural sexuality, the slaying of a drahon does not have the seductive power of a loving look in his eyes.

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