Why Don't We Work It Out?

Posted on 11/10/2009

Sometimes we wait for the situation to be made better in some magical way. Our eyes look to the future, to the day when we will have more money, when our career problems will be straightened out, when we lose thirty pounds and are more sexually attractive, when our partner is over with his depression, when our parents finally accepts us as we are. And wait...and wait.

But no matter what we do, as one problem seems to fade another rises to take its place. The milestones of our expectations are met but somehow we are still the same together, still waiting vainly for something to happen to make it possible for us to be happy.

Any couple can be happy when their problems have all been worked out. The real mark of a good relationship is being happy while solving problems together, by living in the knowledge that you are committed to a solution. A happy couple measures its happiness by its willingness to share the burden of living together and openly meeting whatever problems occur. Everything is discussable.

All feelings are important. On issue is considered minor if it can diminish the flow of love between the partners. Happy partners take each other's feeling seriously. Happy partners do no with hold their love of question whether they are getting enough.

If they feel a lack, their first response is to give more love to fill the void it is the nature of love to fill all spaces and to give.

Happy partners accept each other. Love is expressed for the way the partners are right this minute, not for the way one hopes they will become. The partners do not feel that they are on trial, that if they make a mistake or fail they will be rejected. There is nothing tentative about real happiness.

If you are ver to be happy in your relationship, you have to be happy with your partner righ now, just the way he or she is, just the way you are together. If you are staying together only in the hope that it will get better when it never was much to begin with, you are sure to be disappointed.

Your hope has more to do with your fear of being alone than with the realistic appraisal of your situation.

When you join in a relationship with another person, you are still the same two people, but you are also a couple. And each couple has its own style in dealing with problems. That style reflects the way couple functions together, and it can either enhance or destroy the relationship.

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