Why Your Partner Will Not Commit
Posted on 10/13/2009
In each of the following categories, list the specific excuses your partner gives for not committing and why he is can't saying i love you. What do you think of each excuse?
Your Behavior: Does your partner object to your behavior and bad habits, such as excessive drinking, gambling, drug use, or inability to earn a living? These are important objections because they are fatal to growth and success in a relationship.
No relationship can survive unless these problems are solved, and no person who values himself can commit to other unless both are committed to solving these problems. Many people do bond to mates with severe problems in the hope that their love will give their partner the strength to change. Unfortunately, this is often wishful thinking born of desperation. Most of these relationships cannot bear close scrutiny, and fail.
Your Style: Does your partner object to the way you do things, to your style, to your manner? It is only natural to object to a person with a controlling nature and a tendency to manipulate. And it is hard to commit to someone who clings or puts you down or refuses to be open with his feelings.
Just because you have never heard such objections spoken openly does not mean they do not exist. You can sense such objections. They give you the feeling that you must change to be accepted. They from a major obstacle to committing and to being happy together.
Your Taste: Lesser problems such habits as snoring, nail baiting, or smoking, and issues of taste may seem trivial, but they can create friction that can take a lot out of a relationship. Partners who love each other but don't express their deepest feelings sometimes use these annoying characteristics as easy targets for releasing the deeper negativity they feel toward each other.
Such displaced resentment can build and, over time, become a sore spot that never heals because it does not address the partner's deeper concerns.
In summary, to switch of your characteristics does your partner most object?
Finally, what traits do you dislike most about your partner? You need to accept your partner's faults so you can love without reservation or regret. The power of love can bridge over imperfections, but not over dishonest.
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